i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
