I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
