I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
