Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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