whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
