Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
