i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
