My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
