I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
