please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
