I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
