Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize