Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
