is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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