I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
