There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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