think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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