why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
