Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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