He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
