Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
