Dual....:-)
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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