you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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