I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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