I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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