She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
They have beer where we have blood.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
