Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
