I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Its about making memories worth repressing
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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