dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
