i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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