Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
