You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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