he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
