I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
