It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
