I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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