Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
