I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
