Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
