rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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