Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
