i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
