So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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