Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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