how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
