is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
