ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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