i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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