he wants to bone in the snuggie
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize