that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
