Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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