Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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