She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
