She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
why is half of my head shaved?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
