You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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