two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
