Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
