Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
