Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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