I can tuck mytits in my pants
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He better not be in your backpack
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
