So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
