yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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