Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
