don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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