When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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