singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
