Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
