Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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