he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
