the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
