wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
